The God of Unrequited Love

In Christianity, we teach that God is love, and that He loves unconditionally. This is absolutely true, and the Bible speaks often of this. Many of us have sang "Jesus Loves Me," which we've known since we were young children. We quote John 3:16, tell others of God's love... As Christians, His love is very important to us. It is unconditional, everlasting, unchanging, unfailing... there are not enough adjectives to describe God's love. But, there's one facet of His love that we seem to ignore. Which one? Unrequited love.

The definition of unrequited, according to Merriam Webster, is not reciprocated or returned in kind; not requited. Looking at simple English etymology, the prefix "un-" means the opposite of, or not. To requite is simply to return or retaliate.

Now, I know that unrequited love is not a nice topic. It's painful, and brings back memories of when we ourselves loved unrequitedly. It is a hard subject. And, I think that, because of the weight of our own memories, we tend to not pay attention to this part of God's love. We don't want to think that God loves us unrequitedly, because then we must face the fact that we have turned God away and hurt Him countless times simply because we have not received His love. Think about it for a moment. There are around 6 billion people in this world, and God loves all of them. How many people, do you think, do not return His love? How many people chase after gods who are not real? How many people simply shun God? We may love many people in our lives, and we may even love some with a God-like love. Imagine someone that you love unconditionally, say, your husband, if you're married. If you found that they had been robbing banks, you would forgive and still love them. Your love wouldn't fade, no matter what they did. That's unconditional love. Now, imagine that person suddenly leaving you. You know how you would feel; I don't need to spell it out for you. This person is gone, and you still love them. That is unrequited love. Now, imagine if you loved 6+ billion people unconditionally, and many of them didn't feel the same way about you. How would you feel? It's the same with God. But, I believe it is on a larger scale, because He is the way for all to be saved.

Imagine you're a doctor, and you've just found the cure for cancer. You walk up to your patient, who is on the brink of death, and tell them, "I've found a cure for your cancer! Let's start as soon as possible so you can be well soon!" They reply, "No! Don't cure me! I'm perfectly happy as I am now. Why would I want to change? Don't come near me!" How would you feel? Now, let's step it up a notch. Again, you're the doctor, but this person is someone that you love unconditionally. The same scene plays out. How would you feel now? Bingo. God loves us all unconditionally, and he has the way for us to be saved. If God was that doctor, and we the patient, how would that conversation take place? We would want that cure, wouldn't we? You would think so. There are 6+ billion people in the world today; think of how many people do not follow the true path of salvation. Now, this can be because they don't know what is true; they could be deceived. But, there are also many people who simply refuse God because they want to. God loves them unconditionally, but also unrequitedly.

A few days ago, I was thinking about Christ and his unconditional love, and that is when I realized that God loved unrequitedly also, not just unconditionally. I believe that unrequited love is one of the strongest types of unconditional love. It is easy to love someone who openly loves you back. But to love someone who does not return that love? It is one of the most difficult things to endure. And, God endures that every single day from countless people.

We know of unrequited love. It is spoken of in music, poetry, films, books... everywhere you look, there it is. But, if we stopped for a moment, and thought of how God loves unrequitedly, not just unconditionally... think of how many people hurt Him, day after day, and yet His love for them never dies... our lives as Christians would change drastically. God is reaching out to all of us, wanting to love us. Will we let him?

How will the story end?

I found this a couple months ago in Helsinki. "I'M ALONE. I NEED LOVE." I took a photo of it nearly as soon as I saw it, because it made me think very hard. How desperate, how hopeless must this person's life be, that they would feel that it was necessary to reach out to people that they will probably never meet? How destitute must they feel, that they could not even rely on their family or friends? How hurt were they? How lonely, how depressed? In a place where many things were written, some of it not very clean and rather stupid, there is a message from someone begging for love. Everyone needs love. It is a natural desire; we wish to feel that we are loved, that we are needed. Without love, life is pretty much hopeless. We need it in our lives daily. I try to tell my family and friends that I love them as much as I can, because I understand that it is important. I know what it feels like to wonder if one is loved or not. Because of this, I want to be sure that those close to me know that I love them. But let's get back to the subject: how does the story end?

As I said earlier, how hopeless must this person be? How often do you go to complete strangers, or write to people that you will never meet, and tell them that you are alone and need love? You wouldn't do it at all! You would go to a close friend or someone that you trusted and tell them. So, how desperate must this person have been? I think they must have been horribly desperate. How does the story end? This person probably has about 4 options. 1) They trudge on through life, hoping for that day when they will discover love. 2) They sleep around/have a one-night stand with the promise of love, but they'll most likely end up feeling worse than before. 3) They end everything and commit suicide. 4) They find someone who will introduce them to Jesus Christ and they will feel His undying love.

What do you think is the ending? How does this story end? We will probably never know. But think, there are millions of stories that are the same, billions even. People who feel lonely and unloved. People who just want to know that they are important, that they are appreciated, needed, and loved. We all know these people. We may not realize it, but we do. There are people in our lives that feel this way. What are we doing about it? What are we, as followers of Christ, doing to show these people God's love?

I did a post a little bit ago about conditional love versus unconditional love. I'll try to not bring up the same points, but there is something that we need to consider. The Bible speaks often of taking care of others and showing them God's love. This is one of the main points of missionaries: we go out into the world and show God's love. Someone once said that everyone is a missionary whether they realize it or not. You are the missionary to your neighborhood, your workplace, your school... what surrounds your life is your mission field. If we looked at our lives and our surroundings this way, I believe there would be less people who felt lonely and unloved. Why? When one has God's peace, they are not lonely. When one has God's love, they are not unloved, but rather loved with a love that will never die, nor falter in strength. Look at 1 Corinthians 13:1-7. If we don't have God's love within us, or are not showing that love, then we, as Christians are useless. If we are useless, then people will go to hell. People who WE could have helped.We all need to remind ourselves of this continuously.

This photo deserves a grand speech, and I admit that I do not have words enough to convey my thoughts when I look at it.  But my question to you is this: how do you want the story to end?


Have a lovely day!
Candace Nicole

Unconditional Love VS. Conditional Love: The Big Issue

Today, I am writing about unconditional love vs. conditional love, and how it affects our walk with God. This has been inside of me for a little while now, and I would like to share my thoughts with you. In our world today, we see two different kinds of love: unconditional and conditional. There are other kinds of love, such as brotherly love and a friend's love. But today, we're only looking at these two.

"What is unconditional love?" you might ask. According to Dictionary.com, unconditional love is "affection with no limits or conditions." If you look at the suffix "un-" it means "not," and is used to convey an opposite. So what does this tell us about conditional love? Conditional love is affection with conditions, such as loving someone for their money. When the money is gone, the love is gone also. There is a condition, an expectation. With unconditional love, you give everything and expect nothing. You love someone whether they have money, or whether they are poor; it does not matter to you. But, even this definition is simply the tip of the iceberg that is unconditional love.

The Greek word for unconditional love is "agape." It is used in this way when describing Jesus Christ's selfless sacrifice to provide salvation to humanity. This love is very important to every Christian, and even non-Christians. Without it, we could not be saved... We would have no hope, no chance of every spending an eternity with God in heaven. But, because God manifested himself as Jesus Christ, and showed unto us this love, we have that chance. Take a minute and imagine: what would life be like if God only chose certain people to spend eternity with Him in heaven? What if you would never have any assurance that you would go to heaven? How would you feel? I know how I would feel. I would feel hopeless, trying so hard to make myself acceptable to God, not knowing if He would turn me away or accept me. But, this is not reality! God has opened His arms to anyone who will receive Him. And I am thankful that I know I have the chance to spend eternity with Him.

Let's look and see what the Bible says about unconditional love.
1 Corinthians 13:1-7 (KJV) Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

John 15:13 (KJV) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.

These two passages mean so much to me, for they describe unconditional love. I try, with all my strength, to live these verses every day. In the passage in Corinthians, it lists many good deeds that people perform. But it shows that, unless we have love, namely, unconditional love, our deeds are not worth much at all. I can do all of these things, but if I do not have the love of Christ within me, I am nothing, and my works are nothing. I will be so bold as to say this, if we do not love unconditionally, not expecting anything in return for that which we do for others, we are not fulfilling our duties as followers of Christ. And if we are not fulfilling our duties as Christians, then our ministries will be ineffective, our walks with God will be ineffective, and our lives will become selfish and self-centered. There is no place in God's kingdom for selfishness, only selflessness. 

Let's take a closer look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-7. This time we'll read from the NLT. "Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance." Take a good look at these verses. "Love does not demand it's own way." Unconditional love vs. conditional love. Do you demand your own way? Are you always expecting, and rarely giving? Or do you give and expect in return? I sincerely hope your answer to all three questions was, "no." This is so important to a Christian's walk with God. If you are not selfless, and do not love unconditionally, then God cannot bless you. 

Let's look at John 15:13, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." This speaks for itself. Imagine you were in a life-or-death situation with someone that you claim to love. If their life was in danger, would you be willing to sacrifice your life to save them? Would you honestly die for them? Look at it this way: there is no way that they can repay you for your actions, especially if you were to die. Knowing that there would be no way they could give you any form of repayment, would you still do it? Or would you let them die? To me, if I was in a life-or-death situation, and someone I loved stepped in and gave their life for mine, if there was any doubt in anyone's mind that that person did not love me, it should be immediately discarded. I would sincerely thank God for that person every day, for the rest of my life. There is no greater love than a man who would give his life for his friends. Loving unconditionally... are you?
Let's look at it from another angle. The person in danger is a complete stranger, and you have never spoken to them before. Would you still try to save them, or would you let them die? This is something that I have to ask myself. If there was a child trapped in a burning building, would you try to save them? If there was a man at gunpoint, would you do everything you could do for him? It is very easy to help an older woman carry her groceries, but if she was being mugged, would you step in and defend her? It's also easy to give yourself for those who are close to you, to those whom you love, but what about strangers? Would you do the same for them? Do we, as followers of Christ, wish to love unconditionally, as He does? Then we should be willing to do those things for strangers, as we are willing to do them for those close to us.

People need to see God's love manifested in this world, and it can only be done through us, His followers. We need to ready ourselves, step up to the plate, if you will, and be willing to truly love as God does, giving all and expecting nothing in return. There is nothing as unproductive as a selfish Christian. In fact, a selfish Christian is not a Christian at all. Yes, it's harsh, but it is true. During His time on earth, was Christ selfish? No. Is God selfish? No. Then we, as Christians, or followers of Christ, should not be selfish, and should love unconditionally.

I wish you a blessed day. :)